Years after I moved out and started my own family, I went back home to visit my dad. Somewhere in a day's knocking around town, he realized that he needed something, a tool, I think. Then we saw the old Sears store.

We roamed around till he found what he wanted, then stepped up to a cash register. Dad poked through his wallet and at last pulled out his battered Sears charge card.

"Haven't used this in a while," he told me, with a hint of nostalgia.

I give up.

The name of our library system, encompassing all the public libraries in the county, was christened in 1990. Its name is the Douglas Public Library District.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, we've plastered that name on almost 100,000 library cards. It appears several times a week in all the newspapers. We've sent newsletters to every single household.

The result? Nobody knows our name. They think we are the Douglas County Library.

I may be slow, sometimes, but I'm not altogether stupid.

When I was young and foolish and hitchhiking my way around the southwest, I found an easy way to pick up some cash. I would go to a university, and sign up as an art model.

Yes, dear reader, your local librarian once took off his clothes for money. Back then, I did an hour or so of yoga every day and walked everywhere. I was in very good shape. Times, alas, have changed.